Yo there are 2 announcements:
Server Code of Conduct is now finalized! I threw out everything from before and almost all of it is now ripped from other Mastodon instances. beingpresent.me/about/more
Having these rules means....we are now on the approval list for a relay! What does this mean? If we get approved, users from many other Mastodon instances will show up in the Federated tab!
More words in following toots.
More exciting news!!!
BeingPresent.Me now has a blog!
Right now, this will function as news related to this site as well as my own personal mental health blog but that's apt to change if it actually helps to have news about the site there.
Thanks yall for joining! It's not much to look at now but the more wonderful people that join, like yourselves, the more....well, wonderful it will become!
See ya tootin'!
I still don't understand self harm for myself.
I used to think it was to punish myself but the urge doesn't always feel that way.
I used to think I wanted scars, something physical. Maybe something actualized to show proof of what is going on in my head.
I used to think I liked the pain, but I really only ever liked the idea of it.
Now it just feels like this primitive urge. Something is wrong with my body. Something is too..."loud" and I need something to be louder.
I don't get me
"You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know because you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself."
~Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless
I first saw this video while in-patient at a crisis center. It really hit home for me.
"Depression, the secret we share | Andrew Solomon"
Options for being on social media too much:.
a) Constantly refresh to see likes and favorites for Feel Good Chemicals
b) Quit it completely, cutting off what is essentially the only line to the outside world and prepare for epic loneliness & self loathing
c) Set timers for a maximum amount of time per day then immeditatpey dismiss them
Spiral down spiral down spiral down
[today]: Feels kinda like I'm slipping into depression but everyone has bad days so it's probably nothing.
[tomorrow]: Okay two bad days still isn't a big deal, no need to get worked up.
[a week later]: It's not unheard of to have a bad week. Don't wanna be overly dramatic about nothing. It'll pass any day now, just gotta wait it out.
[3 months later, in the psych ward]: Ah, fuck.
I wrote a post on "What is Somatic Experiencing?"
SE really without exaggeration saved my life. It helped me actually treat a ton of physical and psychological symptoms, but more importantly to me, it taught me a lot about how to understand my body.
I'm the creator of this instance. My diagnoses are Depression, Anxiety, cPTSD, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I care a lot about trauma and mental health.
This is a social network (a Mastodon instance) centered around mental health.